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Eliminating Fear & Worry
by Kathy Ruckman

Fear and worry are two of the biggest challenges impeding your success. These 2 emotions can easily cripple your achievement and put a serious dent in your enjoyment of life. Both emotions will delay or even halt your progress. Both often cause you to take the exact opposite action (or inaction) that is required for success.

First, let's dissect the emotion of FEAR. I often use the acronym F.E.A.R for False Expectations Appearing Real. Fear can be dangerous to your health, wealth, and your overall happiness. Many of us think that fear is healthy and natural because it cautions us about potentially dangerous situations. Well, I’m here to tell you it’s not. It’s not healthy or natural and one of your goals should be to get rid of fears that hold you back. Fear creates an insurmountable barrier between where you are now and where you want to get to. In order to achieve your goals, you will continuously encounter things you fear. The only alternative is to give up on your dreams and goals … and hopefully you're here because giving up is not an option you would consider.

To succeed in this business, or anything else in life, you will constantly be undertaking new things, encountering new challenges, and experiencing things that you have never experienced before … things that are out of your comfort zone. The only way to make progress is to step out of your comfort zone. Think about a baby's first steps. They try and try and try, always out of their comfort zone, until they ultimately succeed. Is it a little scary? Of course, but if we all let out fears overwhelm us, we would still be crawling around on all fours.

Now, don't get me wrong. I’m not saying it’s impossible to accomplish what you want and still hang on to your fears. I'm sure it happens for a minute segment of the population. It just takes them a whole lot longer to get where they want to go .... mainly because they have to take so many detours along the way. These detours are caused by fear of the unknown . Can you imagine if Christopher Columbus allowed the fear of the unknown (can you think of a bigger fear than falling off the end of the earth?) prevent him from setting sail in 1492?

Now, let’s talk about worry for a minute. Understand that there is an important difference between fear and worry. Fear is event related. It’s the reaction to the worry. It usually causes a physical reaction like adrenaline flow. Worry is mentally created. It involves imagined events that haven’t happened yet. Worrying is mental, it’s the most counter-productive emotion, and it is a complete waste of time and energy. Nothing positive ever comes out of worrying. It’s focusing on something that might occur in the future. And since you only have the power to control what happens right now, here in the present, it’s a ridiculous waste of time. It’s inaction not action. Inaction doesn’t produce, create, or change a thing. 

It generally involves some kind of loss, loss of life, health, money, love. The list of things you could worry about is virtually endless. Worry and fear are basically different sides of the same coin. Worry includes negative thoughts about what might happen, while fear is your body and mind’s reaction to what is happening. Both are destructive. Worry can and will:

  • Keep you awake at night, which will leave you less effective the next day.

  • Slow you down, distract you, and sap your energy.

  • Cause you health problems, like ulcers or high blood pressure.

  • Cause you to lose sight of reality, while you imagine all sorts of things.

  • Cause you to lose faith and trust in yourself and others.

    The bottom line is, worry can leave you depleted, tired, and extremely ineffective. So what can you do to eliminate worry and fear?

    =>  Refocus your thoughts on the present

    Since worry is nothing more than a combination of negative thoughts, you control everything related to your worrying (i.e. How much time you spend worrying and how it affects you.) Worry is a default mental process. What I mean by that is you don’t have to consciously do anything to make worry happen. It will just happen by default. Now, to eliminate worry and keep it away you have to take conscious action. To eliminate worry, refocus your attention on something in the present ... something you can control right now. Anytime you find yourself worrying - stop, clear your mind, and think of something else, something positive going on right now. Your mind cannot hold both a positive and a negative thought at the same time. When you focus on something positive there is no room left for negative thinking.

    => Confront the things that you fear

    Fear will limit your enjoyment of life and your ability to achieve your goals. The best way to get over your fears is to face them head-on and keep facing them head on until the fear no longer slows you down. If you’re willing to accept the challenge, you can conquer your fears. What you fear controls your life. What you control has no power over your life. Make a "dreams list" of all the things you fear; all of the things you wish to conquer. Identify the things you’re afraid of and the things you worry about. Make a checklist and then start picking them off one by one, day by day.

    => Act in the face of fear

    Most of us came to believe growing up that that it was an acceptable excuse to avoid situations if we were afraid of them. It’s not. Of course, you can still live your life avoiding everything but it won't be much of a life. You’ll miss out on amazing opportunities and wonderful experiences. You, and you alone, possess the power to face your fears. It’s OK to be afraid and still proceed. Think about the first astronauts, the first explorers. There is no question they encountered fear. Amazing accomplishments are earned in the face of great fear. If you’re going to conquer fear you must commit to act regardless of the fear, regardless of the emotion that it triggers. To take a phrase from the old Nike commercial ... Just do it!


    => Actively use visualization

    We talk about this a lot. The same thing applies here while learning to overcome fear and worry. Visualize yourself successfully handling the situation. See a positive outcome in your mind. If you don’t think like a victim you won’t be one. Remember worry is mental; it’s starts in the mind. So you must start with the way you visualize the outcome of confronting the things you’re afraid of. By confronting fear it starts to lose it’s control over you.

    Now you have the blueprint for overcoming fear and worry. Whether you do it or not is entirely up to you. Does the old saying, "You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" apply to you. That's a question that only you can answer.

    © 2010 Kathy Ruckman. All rights reserved.
    http://www.FreeBusinessBuilder.com

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